Writing Essay

The internet has transformed the way we communicate, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the
internet and what solutions can you suggest?

The internet is arguably the most influential invention of modern times. It has drastically changed the way communicate with others. However, despite its benefits, it has created
numerous problems. This essay will discuss the most serious problem associated with the internet and suggest a potential solution.

The main problem associated with the rise of the internet is its effects on human relationships. Although the internet brings people together in the virtual world, it has caused people to become further apart in real life. This can be seen in many instances, such as the dinner table for example. This used to be a place where family and friends would gather and speak together and share ideas and experiences. Nowadays, it is all too common to see people sitting together at a table, with each one on their mobile phone using an internet-related application, rather than conversing with each other. The breakdown of real-life communication with people is one of the main problems internet has brought to society.

However, every problem has a solution and this is no exception. To avoid the internet impinging on our personal relationships, we need to establish boundaries around how we use it. For example, when gathering with friends and family, it is advised to implement a no- phone policy. This will ensure that our attention is on the people who are actually there, rather than on the virtual world. This is a way to stay connected and be present in moment.
In conclusion, the internet has changed the world, both for the better and for the worse. Although it allows us to keep in touch with people who are not near us, it has affected the way we communicate with and relate to those who are. One way to tackle this is be present when we are with others and make a conscious choice not to allow the internet to encroach on our relationships.

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Question:

Nowadays young people are spending most of their leisure time using smart phones and tablets for entertainment. Is it a positive or a negative development? Give your own opinion and examples.

Answer:

Electronic entertainment devices like smart phones and tables today have occupied/invaded/encroached on/ a major portion of young people’s spare time. This new trend, in my view, is not desirable and can lead to various problems.

To begin with, electronic or online entertainment is sedentary and addictive in nature and therefore the youth are less likely to involve in outdoor physical activities potentially leading to various medical problems. For example, a young person can watch videos, play games and talk to relatives thousands of miles away on an iPad or iPhone in the comfort of his room. As a result, he may not get enough time or feel the need to be physically active, which can result in problems like vision impairment, obesity and arthritis.

Another area of serious concern is young people’s lack of interest in socialising with friends, relatives or even siblings, due to prolonged obsession with smart phones and similar devices. For instance, many parents today complain that children are not interested in talking to them during their leisure time because they may be engaged in their favourite computer game, which demands complete attention to the device. Even during meals some children are glued to their smart devices. This can have a detrimental impact on their socialisation skills and lack of sensitivity for people around.

On the other hand, this modern form of entertainment has certain positive aspects too. While on a smart phone young people are likely to watch educational videos, read current news and visit e-learning websites and make their free time productive. Tablets are very helpful in helping young children to draw, solve puzzles and learn language. In this way they can have a fun filled learning experience during their spare time.

In conclusion, smart phones and tablets do have certain benefits for young people in making their leisure time productive. Despite these advantages, their compulsive use would lead to serious physical as well as psychological issues and therefore this new trend, in my opinion is mostly negative and not desirable.

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Correction

Nowadays young people are spending most of their leisure time using smart phones and tablets for entertainment. Is it a positive or a negative development? Give your own opinion and examples.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Electronic entertainment devices ~like~ *such as* (“such as” is very different from like.) smart phones and tablets today have occupied/invaded/encroached ~on~/ a major portion of young people spare time. This new trend, in my view, is not desirable and can lead to various problems. (Please mention the problems that you plan to discuss in the body paragraphs. This will make your introduction stronger.)

To begin with, electronic or online entertainment is sedentary and addictive in nature and therefore the youth are less likely to involve in outdoor physical activities potentially leading to ~various~ *several* (avoid repeating words – various) medical problems. For example, a young person can watch videos, play games and talk to relatives thousands of miles away on an iPad or iPhone in the comfort of his room. As a result, he may not get enough time or feel the need to be physically active, which can result in problems like vision impairment, obesity, and arthritis. (very well-written)

Another area of serious concern is young people’s lack of interest in socializing with friends, relatives or even siblings, due to *a* (article mistake) prolonged obsession with smart phones and similar devices. For instance, many parents today complain that children are not interested in talking to them during their leisure time because they ~may be~ *are* engaged in their favorite computer game, which demands complete attention to the device. Even during meals, some children are glued to their smart devices. This can have a detrimental impact on their socialization skills and lack of sensitivity for people around. (very well-written)

On the other hand, this modern form of entertainment has certain positive aspects too. While on a smart phone young people are likely to watch educational videos, read current news and visit e-learning websites [such as eltecenglish.com? :)] and make their free time productive. Tablets are very helpful in ~helping~ enabling (word repetition: help) young children to draw, solve puzzles, and learn *a* (Article mistake) language. In this way, they can have a fun filled learning experience during their spare time.

In conclusion, smart phones and tablets do have certain benefits for young people in making their leisure time productive. Despite these advantages, their compulsive use would lead to serious physical as well as psychological issues and therefore this new trend, in my opinion, is mostly negative and not desirable. (I love this conclusion)

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319 words. I loved reading your essay. Thank you for sharing. You’ve made SIGNIFICANT improvements over the previous essay. *Bands = 8.0 or above.*

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Paraphrase 1

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fzNzY_-CAPFqlG-VX-KhKKpT6jphHe07/view?usp=drivesdk

Paraphrase 2

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KnUok7GCQ7sBFfdNffLKZEXmUDBCUmOU/view?usp=drivesdk

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The idea of providing distance education of numerous universities has become quite fashionable. Whilst I believe online courses to have great benefits in several cases, I presume that this trend may give rise to some downsides.

Ide menyediakan pendidikan jarak jauh dari banyak universitas telah menjadi sangat modis. Sementara saya percaya kursus online memiliki manfaat besar dalam beberapa kasus, saya menganggap bahwa tren ini dapat menimbulkan beberapa kerugian.

*On the one hand,* it is my belief that this tendency is likely to be profitable. One noticeable advantage is an increase in academic chance for social members. The adoption of video-conferencing technology and free-to-use group chats in Internet-bases courses may serve to facilitate the study of busy workers without leaving their current jobs.

Di satu sisi, adalah keyakinan saya bahwa kecenderungan ini mungkin menguntungkan. Salah satu keunggulan nyata adalah peningkatan peluang akademik bagi anggota sosial. Adopsi teknologi konferensi video dan obrolan grup yang dapat digunakan dalam kursus-kursus basis Internet dapat berfungsi untuk memfasilitasi studi pekerja yang sibuk tanpa meninggalkan pekerjaan mereka saat ini.

*Furthermore,* students could get access to academic lectures by prominent professors from World-famous universities via e-learning classes. Another point in favor is convenience. Online distance education enables students not only take the initiative to plan their study schedule but also review lectures, discussion, comments or share notes with each other on demand.

Selanjutnya, siswa bisa mendapatkan akses ke ceramah akademis oleh para profesor terkemuka dari universitas-universitas terkenal di dunia melalui kelas e-learning. Hal lain yang menguntungkan adalah kenyamanan. Pendidikan jarak jauh online memungkinkan siswa tidak hanya mengambil inisiatif untuk merencanakan jadwal belajar mereka tetapi juga meninjau ceramah, diskusi, komentar atau berbagi catatan satu sama lain sesuai permintaan.

*On the other hand,* there appear to be potential shortcomings stemming from this trend. One disadvantage is the lack of interaction with the instructors and fellow classmates in the light of the internet disconnect. This procrastination may discourage learners from meeting their deadlines and completing their assignments. Students’ plagiarism and dishonesty are areas of concern as well. Some critics feel that it is easier to plagiarize or share answers owing to reduced surveillance and increase connectivity. Consequently, this copyright infringement could drive them to the verge of being expelled from the course of study.

Di sisi lain, tampaknya ada kekurangan potensial yang berasal dari tren ini. Salah satu kelemahannya adalah kurangnya interaksi dengan para instruktur dan teman-teman sekelas dalam terangnya koneksi internet. Prokrastinasi ini dapat menghambat pembelajar untuk memenuhi tenggat waktu mereka dan menyelesaikan tugas mereka. Plagiarisme dan ketidakjujuran siswa juga menjadi perhatian utama. Beberapa kritik merasa bahwa lebih mudah untuk menjiplak tulisan atau berbagi jawaban karena berkurangnya pengawasan dan meningkatkan konektivitas. Akibatnya, pelanggaran hak cipta ini dapat mendorong mereka untuk keluar dari program studi.

*Overall,* based on what have been discussed above, it seems to me that learning activities through the medium of the internet has both the desired and adverse effects.

Word: 265

Secara keseluruhan, berdasarkan apa yang telah dibahas di atas, tampaknya bagi saya bahwa kegiatan pembelajaran melalui media internet memiliki efek yang diinginkan dan merugikan.

Kata : 265.

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